even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Also, beer. Big fan.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
