I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
