Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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