Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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