One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
ttyl tear gas
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
