You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
