i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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