Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
