JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
