Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
