you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You were trust falling into bushes
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize