yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
