yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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