you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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