We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
as a side note pls kill me
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
