I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize