I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
