Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
