is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize