Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
