Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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