Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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