Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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