i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
