Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Randomize
