This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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