Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You have to summon your inner elephant
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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