I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
