You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
