the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize