Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
