Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
