Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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