sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
