Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
