Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
