talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
They took my balls.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
