I just saw a hot homeless man
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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