She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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