Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
