didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
