Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
