And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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