More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
