Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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