she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
