would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize