i barfeds in our rink
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
