Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
