belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My friends, they love my intelligence
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
