soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
