u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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