Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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