areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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