i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
