Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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