So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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