I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
