I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Even my vagina gasped.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
